This First Day of March
by Keithan
Summary: Legolas tries to find peace in his griefstricken soul, hoping to find the closure by facing the shadows of yesteryears. slight hints of AragornLegolas SLASH. links for THAI readers added.


url to thai translation down below.

disclaimers: the lord of the rings and blah, blah, are not mine.  
a/n: i honestly don't know where this came from, but since it's here, then might as well post it. this fic, no, the lines where this was based from brought to me a certain feeling of sadness, especially "And when that ship passed an end was come in Middle-earth of the Fellowship of the Ring.".. tsk, tsk.. i've grown attached to lotr.. oh yeah, another warning, this could be a spoiler!! SPOILER..well it could be to some. if you don't wanna be spoiled, read carefully and decide early to hit the back button.

hints of love between two men here and there.. yeah, that's hints of slash in simpler terms.  
single quotation is elvish.

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_"But when King Elessar gave up his life, Legolas followed at last the desire of his heart and sailed over Sea."  
-The Lord of the Rings, Appendix A_

_"On March 1st came at last the Passing of King Elessar. It is said that the beds of Meriadoc and Peregrin were set beside the bed of the great king. Then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien, and sailed down Anduin and so over Sea; and with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when that ship passed an end was come in Middle-earth of the Fellowship of the Ring."  
-The Lord of the Rings, Appendix B_

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**THIS FIRST DAY OF MARCH__________**

The water lapped at the shore, leaving the sand in a dark brown color. The wind was soft and it did not bring the larger waves I was accustomed to at this time of the day. Without a word, I removed my light shoes and took a few steps into the lapping water.

The feel of the cool seawater on my feet calmed me and for a brief moment, I closed my eyes to the scenery of the seemingly endless ocean and just let my body feel the water that touched my feet and the soft wind that enveloped me.  

I breathed in deeply and let it out in a soft sigh; a sound of longing and overwhelming sadness.

'Legolas, night is nigh, still some good hours away, but the day would soon come to a close.' Without looking, I could tell Haldir was already making his way to the green lands. His words although still the light and clear sounds of Sindarin, carried a slight accent of Quenya, the language used in ceremony and for high matters of lore and song yonder in the West. 'We must hasten if you plan to continue on your... agenda.' he continued.

I sighed one more time before tearing my eyes from the sea and walking back to my shoes. 'Aye, Haldir. I am on my way.' I said as I finished wearing them on my feet. I climbed the slope to where he now stood and beside him, I took my place.

There before my eyes were the green lands of Belfalas that lies on southwest of the realms of Gondor. I closed my eyes as a pang of grief tore at my soul, slowly filling in the empty gaps in my heart. But it was a grief that I had long carried and accepted. Not enough to bring me to my fall, only because I had learned to live with it, knowing _he _ wouldn't want anyone grieving at his bedside as he rest in eternal slumber and peace.

When I opened my eyes, I found Haldir looking at me worriedly. I wanted to smile and assure him that everything was all right but I could not. I just started to walk and said, 'Come, my friend. We must reach Ithilien by nightfall.' I felt him following me and soon he walked by my side. 'There we should find ourselves a place to rest. By the morrow, I'd see where we'd go.'

Both of us spoke no more, and in a comfortable yet gloomy silence for me, we traveled and went our way.

Nearly a century had passed. And now I must find my closure. Though I couldn't find the strength to march up to the gates of the castle of Gondor, I would at least try to find peace in a place where I dwelt as long as his reign still lasted and his light still shone.

My heart longed for his, but although his soft caress to my cheek brought comfort, love and happiness to my soul, I could ask for no more and he could give no more. No more than a hold in the hand, a look in the eyes, a soft caress to my face, a brotherly hug and a smile sent my way were allowed of us, like an unwritten rule between our two souls.

I had left my home in the far north in the forests of Mirkwood by his leave, his request for me to stay near. And in Ithilien I had found my home for long years. Now I would again walk the lands where I had found my heart when the War against the Dark Lord had ended.

I then noticed that twilight had claimed Middle-earth, and we were now on the borders of Gondor in South Ithilien.

Not soon after, when only a faint light of orange lit the sky, we found a place to camp. We arranged our things, and Haldir lit a fire. 

It was only then that we let our hoods down and laid our bedrolls. All these were done in silence.

'Would you be all right, Legolas?' Haldir finally asked of me. This time, I smiled, a wistful and sad smile. 

'I would be, my friend.' I answered as I took a seat across from him; the fire stood dancing between us. 'Soon enough.' I got a long stick that was lying on the ground and poked the firewood with it.

Neither of us made a move to go prepare a meal. We just sat there, gazing at the flickering flame.

'You have been grieving for far too long. Why did you suddenly decide to come back?' Haldir asked.

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. 'Because I felt the need to. The need to face what I had hastily left behind.' I answered. I let silence befall us before continuing. 'Tomorrow will be the first day of the third month of the year. The same day the light of the Elfstone had died away. It had been.. what, seventy? ninety years since? I had lost count when all days seem the same; same old grief that came with the rising of the sun, and still stayed as she sets in the west. His loss is a great loss in my heart.'

Haldir nodded. He was one witness of my dark days, years to be exact. But the strength I had, and the strength I received from my friends and from _him_, who now rests in eternal sleep, kept me breathing, alive and well.

'It is also the same day, Haldir, the day when the Elfstone had first shed his light of existence to this world. It was how he chose it, to pass away on the date of his birth.'

Haldir looked at me, as if searching my heart for any signs of my well-being. I smiled at him. 'Do not look at me as if I'd die from my..' My words suddenly faltered, and I couldn't continue. Grief was not the right word. I just smiled again and shook my head.

'Who was he to capture your heart even in death?' He suddenly asked, and my head snapped up to him. 

I realized that he thought it best for me to talk, to speak of him, for the King Elessar, Aragorn, son of Arathorn had been laid to rest for nearly a century, leaving my heart in grieving for the loss all those years.

Who was he? Indeed, who was he to capture my heart? 

I stood up and got a piece of firewood and fed it to the fire. Haldir was looking at me expectantly, though I knew he really didn't expect an answer to such question from me. 'Sleep, Haldir. I'm afraid even my immortal years is not enough for me to answer your question.' It was then that I felt the graveness of my immortal life when my mortal friends would just come and go in front of my eyes.

He smiled. 'Aye, I know.'

I glanced at him and smiled inwardly. Of course he knew, for who does not know of King Elessar's glory? Even the young ones of Gondor now, I could tell, were being told of the King that was lost that rightly claimed his throne and guided a nation to its feet from a near fall.

Tomorrow I would go alone. I would wander up north, near the Minas Tirith. And there, I prayed, I would be able to find peace of mind, soul, and most of all heart.

I found no strength before, and left, following the Call of the Sea, almost as soon as the news reached my ears: news that the King had taken his last breath. And with me Gimli, son of Glóin, a most dear friend of mine sailed with me to the West, and I knew with the passing of our grey ship an end came in Middle-earth of the Fellowship of the Ring. 

I left with a great burden in my heart and a great sadness in my soul, not only for his passing, but also for the end of the Fellowship I hold dearest to my heart than any family I had known.

The night passed uneventful, and the wild flicker of the flame slowly died down to a dim light. And I sat, just gazing at the red and orange fire, hoping against hope, that I'd be able to relive just for one day, my memories of old, of the Fellowship that I loved, and the Man I cared deeply for. And after, live my life in contentment, if not in pure happiness, and not in grief.

When the first light of dawn touched the skies, I was already up, standing on the very top branch of the tallest tree I could find. I overlooked the beauty of Ithilien. It was just as I had left it and I was glad for that.

The trees and flowers were still as beautiful as always.

As I made my way down, Haldir was already waiting for me at the foot of the tree.

'I decided to go on alone.' I said as I jumped in front of him.

'So as I thought.' He said smiling. 'I'd be waiting for you on this place tomorrow morn.'

I looked at him, leaned forward and embraced him. 'Thank you, my friend, for accompanying me.' I said softly before pulling away and pulling my hood over my face. 

With that I went off. 

'I pray you find the solace you have long been looking for!' He shouted as I disappeared from his sight.

I wished for the same.

My love for Aragorn was still burning in my heart, and for the past years of my life, I was clouded by his passing and still longed for his touch, feeble as it was as a soft touch of a feather to my face. My light had grown dim for I still thought back to the days of what could have been.

Somehow, he knew. And I knew the feeling was not unreciprocated. But both of us didn't acknowledge it. Duty calls for him to have an heir, and I understood the fact that his Lady truly holds a part of his heart. The greater part? I now had no way to tell. Although I knew not how he maintained his love for everyone so pure and overwhelming.

I had been musing for far too long I hadn't noticed I was near Minas Tirith, only a few miles away, until the neighing of a beast reached my ears.

I hadn't stopped the whole day and I saw that the sun was already leaning towards the west.

The neigh once again reached my ears and I stopped, listening to its sound. When I was sure of its location, I went to it. In a clearing, I saw and marveled at the sight of a white stallion, seemingly glowing as the light of the sun reflected its shiny coat.

It nodded and neighed as if sensing my presence, and I gasped when I saw the faint mark on its forehead. It was Roheryn! The second horse of Aragorn that carried that name! His horse when he was crowned as King!

How it was still alive, I didn't know. But now it was lacking its rider. I bowed my head in short remembrance. The albino steed was of Elven breeding. Although not surpassing Shadowfax, it came close to second after him.

I walked softly to it, but when it panicked, I started to sing an Elven tune, my voice reaching its ears. It calmed and allowed itself to be held. I combed his mane and it tossed his head to my touch. I briefly embraced him, remembering its already lost rider.

If this was the closest thing I could hold that would remind me of my heart's desire, then I would gladly accept this gift.

It was then I noticed eyes on me. Though I felt no threat, I was wary. I waited for the right time, and slyly, I disappeared from his sight.

Riding Roheryn, without any harness, as I was accustomed to ride, I saw the one who was watching me, and I could say he was baffled when he returned his eyes and found me gone.

I suddenly made my appearance, now mounted on Roheryn, from the trees behind where my watcher stood. My hood hid the fact that I belong to the fair folk, and for that I was grateful. I need not the questions that would be asked if my pointed ears were revealed.

Elves had long passed thither to the West, and if any still dwelt in Middle-earth, which I doubted, they now isolate themselves from humans. For Man's new generation, we were but a legend for they do not see us any more. And what they did not see, they found it hard to believe. But for the old and the wise, we were a memory. A distant memory of our fair faces, pointed ears and musical voices in our own language.

I wondered briefly if this Man belonged to the younger generation that did not have an encounter with us before, or one of the old and the wise who still held memories of even just our voices in Elvish tongue.

He was startled when the horse I was riding neighed and he turned around to face me. He, himself, had his hood up on his head, preventing me to fully take in his appearance. He was surprised and was seemingly disbelieving at the stealth of the white steed.

I smiled to myself. Nothing less than a pure bred Elven stallion, which was one of its kind, would be worthy of being King Elessar's mount.

Peering down my hood at the man standing below me beside his own beast, I asked in the Common Speech I had not spoken to anyone besides Gimli, "Who are you, and why do you waste time in watching me?"

He looked at Roheryn in wonder and back up at me. From what I could see, this man was someone who was used in holding his head high, proud and seemingly of nobility. His stand was dignified and I could feel he was no ordinary man.

He threw his hood back and all of a sudden he seemed to grow in stature. His face.. grey eyes which held great wisdom looked up at me, with dark locks that framed his face and beard that just adorned his features...

_"Elendil!" Aragorn cried. "I am Aragorn son of Arathorn, and am called Elessar, the Elfstone, Dúnadan, the heir of Isildur Elendil's son of Gondor. Here is the Sword that was Broken, and is forged again! Will you aid me or thwart me? Choose swiftly!"_

_Gimli and I looked at our companion in amazement for we had not seen him in this mood before. He seemed to have grown in stature while Eómer had shrunk; and in his living face, we caught a brief vision of the power and majesty of the kings of stone. _

_For a moment, it seemed to my eyes that a white flame flickered in the brows of Aragorn like a shining crown.  
(-LotR, The Two Towers, The Riders of Rohan)_

Unknowingly, tears welled up in my eyes and not only when my vision blurred did I notice them.

"I am Eldarion, son of E..Aragorn," He said and every word pierced my heart with memories of feelings and times I had a long time ago. "I did not mean to intrude on..."

"My king," I whispered softly, as a tear fell from my eye, although the soft breeze carried my words to his ears. I laid my right hand in a fist on my breast and bowed my head in a salute in the manner of Gondor.

It was the only thing I could do at the moment. No matter how much I wanted to dismount Roheryn to take a closer look at a Man that closely resembles Aragorn, not only in features but I knew in heart as well, I could not. I was rendered unmoving by the longing and agony that once again filled my heart.

Oh how I wanted to cry and shed tears that I longed held back since King Elessar's death. But I was reminded of Eldarion, his son, who now stood before me.

He seemed taken a back. He hadn't expected me to know him, let alone salute him. He had avoided saying Elessar, but still whatever name Aragorn had that he would say, I would know.

"Pray tell, how come you speak as if you know me?" His deep, somber tone asked.

"Because I do, your majesty." I heard the quaver in my voice, and I hoped he didn't. "I do."

"Who are you, and why do you wander in these lands?" He asked.

"Not all those who wander are lost." I answered in return, and he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. I immediately regretted saying those words. I wished for my identity to remain concealed.

"May I please know the name of the one who has Roheryn under his control, when no one in the land had been able to tame him since the death of his rider?" He asked.

I wondered why and I stirred away from the question and asked another. "Why, may I ask, is it so?"

He looked at me, although I made sure my hood covered almost half of my face, before answering, "Because it has been told that the late King Elessar had said to that same steed, that no one, save the one that his heart holds dear, would ride him again."

At this, my emotions I could no longer hold back. I cried. 

Soundlessly, the dams that my eyes had been had finally overflowed and tears decided to stream down my face. I turned my head away, even though my hood hid my face, I couldn't bear to look at Eldarion. Crystal tears streamed in rivulets down my cheeks. Tears that I held back for such a long time. If I was not on Roheryn's back, then I must had broken down crying.

"His queen had traveled in far Lórien, and there she remained the last of her days, not once having a chance to hold Roheryn, who then ran wild in the fields of Ithilien." he said, sadness tinted his voice. He then looked up again. "A name, please, just a name. That I, too, may honor you, as my father might once had."

The sadness of my heart was dwindling away, turning into happiness of the memories I held dear. But the tears in my eyes still flowed, yet now, I find the peace that I was seeking for. I was ready to go and continue my life in such peace.

Behind the tears, I said in a calm but soft voice, "My name is no longer important, Eldarion, in this generation or in the next." I said, calling him by his name. "I no longer belong here. I am merely here to visit this first day of March."

He closed his eyes briefly, probably remembering his days with his father.

"At least once in a year, this day of every year usually, I came and watch Roheryn as he runs wild over the grassy lands of Ithilien. And now my efforts had not gone futile. I am now faced with someone who now rides him as my father once did." He said and took a step closer.

I didn't want him to see me, and Roheryn, seemingly reading my thoughts, neighed and tossed his head, taking a step back.

"Roheryn is not mine to give but my father's. But I could see he had already given his steed, old but still strong, to you." He said.

And somehow, I couldn't stay any longer in his presence. I seemed so close to Aragorn, still I couldn't, nay, I wouldn't be able to touch his hand, to look into his eyes, or to talk to him again. And although peace had come to me, still the sadness of his loss still remains. Eldarion reminds me of that.

I looked up in the sky and it was already late afternoon. It seemed Haldir wouldn't be waiting for long. I was ready to go. I looked back down at Eldarion, tears still blurred my vision, but didn't break my composure, and said, "With or without your leave, lord, I would now go." I urged Roheryn forward and he started in a gallop.

"Master Legolas, you fool! I just remembered!" The playful tone in his voice just led me to an abrupt stop, causing my hood to fall back, my golden hair revealed. I looked back, saying I was surprised was an understatement. But I couldn't expect anything less from the heir of Elessar. He looked at me and laid his right fist to his chest and bowed his head reverently, honoring me. When he looked up, he smiled and said, "I would never forget your beautiful voice in song."

Sincerely, his words brought a genuine smile to my lips. I saluted him again before pulling my hood back and bringing the white steed to a fast gallop. My only hold on him was his mane.

This time, I didn't turn my head, and I didn't glanced back. For me, Gondor was part of a chapter of my life that was now finally closed, yet not forgotten.

The wind caressed my face and once again threw my hood back. My hair, now free, was lifted by the wind because of the great speed Roheryn was running. It now dried my face of the tears that just a while ago streamed down from my eyes. Yet some still, made its way down and joined the mighty wind in its flight.

Even though my love for King Elessar, nay, my love for Aragorn, was still burning in my heart, it would no longer serve as a subject of grief for me but as a light in me that would tell others that I had loved and I had lived. Although the sadness would never be taken away, it would remain cherished. With Aragorn's death, he took a part of me with him, and grief and sadness was only inevitable for such loss.

And even though I wished to know Eldarion more, having known him only in his childhood, I knew that I already knew him by having the privilege of knowing Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Now I could sail back to the West and live my life throughout my days. Soon, I, too, even an immortal as I was, would find my doom.

In what way, no one knows.

'Whither would, what's his name?' Haldir asked behind me.

'Roheryn?' I asked.

'Yea, whither would he stay?' He stayed away from the horse since when he came near, it would back away and make noise, stomping on his forelegs.

I paused from arranging our packs in a trunk. Looking up, I answered, 'He would walk the fields of the West and there he would stay until the end of his days or when he chooses to pass away.' I didn't know why I brought the stallion with us, but I just felt I wanted to.

My companion nodded and we continued our work.

'Would you be all right, Legolas?' Haldir asked me again when we readied our sails. The wind was blowing and we must hurry back while the wind lasts, for our sails would need it.

Somehow, the answer was still the same. I smiled and said, 'I would be, my friend.' 

I stopped for a moment and looked back again at the land we were leaving. I was once again departing Middle-earth. And I was more light-hearted now than when Gimli and I left a few--a lot--years back.

This first day of March, long years before, this world was graced with Aragorn's existence, and same day years after, it was deprived of his light. And now, much longer years after, this first day of March, I walked away with only memories of him and his smile etched in my mind, soul and heart. My love for him would continue to burn its fire in some part of my heart and would never be extinguished just as tears would continually fall from my eyes in his memory.

**04.10.02**  
**_~end~_**

a/n: i told you i didn't know where that came from. haldir could have been gimli, but i don't exactly know how long a dwarf's life span lasts, so i just got our b'loved lórien elf. 

roheryn, if i am not mistaken, is aragorn's own horse in the north, no, i'm not referring to hasufel. well then, this is finally out of my system! took me an entire day! *laughs* i shall go now and feed my growling stomach!

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to thai readers:  
here's a translation of this fic by Y. (thanks Y!!)

http://board.dserver.org/o/onering/00001806.html  
http://www.thaimisc.com/cgi-bin/freewebboard/vreply.pl?user=Megumi&topic=178 


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